La La Land: The Loneliness of The Long-Distance Egotist [October 2017]
“… This movie has so many problems that I’d like to get its least malignant aspect out of the way as quickly I can before the messier portion of my autopsy: The music itself. The songs are pleasant enough, although few would make the cut for a Muppet movie and a week after seeing Land you can sing/hum what little you can recall of them in slightly more time than it takes to flush a toilet.” Read the rest at First of the Month magazine.
“Dear White America: Come Get Your Boy, He’s In No Shape To Drive Himself Home Tonight” or “Why Conor McGregor’s Whiteness Did Not Carry The Day” [September 2017]
“As victorious spectacles by African Americans who have devoted their lives to their own advancement and screw everyone else, Floyd Mayweather Jr.’s TKO win over Ireland’s Conor McGregor probably won’t be as satisfying to black America as O.J. Simpson being declared not guilty of a double homicide — but, to be fair, Marcia Clark threw fewer arm punches (read: virtually worthless) than McGregor did last week.” Read the rest at First of the Month magazine.
Donald Trump Ruined All My Fun: A Less Amusing But Mercifully Briefer Listicle For People Who Are Sick To Fucking Death of This Post-Election Season [January 2017]
“I don’t mean this to sound angry, but when they round up the non-supporters of Uberführer Trump, I hope to live long enough to see Nate Silver stood against a wall and shot solely so I can see which direction his corpse falls. I predict he lists slightly to the left, but crumples to the right.” Read the rest at First of the Month magazine.
A Mercifully Brief Listicle For People Who Are Sick To Fucking Death of This Election Season, And Some Other Political Thoughtlettes [August 2016]
“I know, I know — what if we actually did ramp that spending up and properly took care of all of America’s mentally ill, but then these assault-rifle massacres still happened sometimes? That would be so embarrassing for Congress if all they did was make life not a living hell for like 40 million of our fellow citizens.” Read the rest at First of the Month magazine.
2016 is Taking No Prisoners, Part 37: Twelve Rounds on Ali [July 2016]
“Much like good Twitter handles, the remaining virgin terrain of literature about Ali has been so reduced that you can only access it by balling your fists and bashing your keyboard. So, here’s a take that no one else has ever expressed: Muhammad Ali clocszKL Mdsak;lsdfadfskl;dfms.adfls;fv ijghjvdfgklsgl;./dfgsklmbh.” Read the rest at First of the Month magazine.
Standing Ovation: Peter Sellers in ‘I Love You, Alice B. Toklas!’ [January 2014]
“The story goes that Peter Sellers, a brilliant radio-theater performer long before he lost enough weight to be a film actor, built up his cinematic characters from their voices out—perhaps most infamously (and possibly apocryphally), he all but produced a doctor’s note to get out of playing Air Force Major Kong in “Dr. Strangelove” because he couldn’t find the right voice.” Read the rest at Backstage magazine.
Reshuffled Reality and Kaiju-Goobah Battles: What’s Wrong with The Fighter [April, 2011]
“There was always drama in a Ward fight — his left hook could and did dig him out of a lot of the holes he found himself in on judges’ scorecards over the years — but by and large, Ward came up short at the moment of truth far more often than most Hollywood or even independent-film heroes are allowed to do these days.” Read the rest at First of the Month magazine.
Bill Blackbeard, RIP [April 2011]
“Blackbeard had catholic but discerning taste, quiet integrity, an instinctive understanding of the form and a wife clearly blessed with infinite patience for what had to be a time- and space-devouring life’s work — the perfect ingredients to forge a Mendelssohn for entire generations of Bachs.” Read the rest at The Comics Reporter.
Hustle and Blows [November 2010]
“… Martinez comes from Argentina, home of the legendary middleweight champ Carlos “Escopeta” Monzon. Monzon was an icon to his people. He was also an inveterate woman beater who was convicted of murdering his wife and later died in prison, possibly a suicide. It took integrity for Martinez to win what was once Monzon’s belt and then call for an end to the sort of misogynist violence that his countryman regularly committed.” Read the rest at First of the Month magazine.